Lighting the Way
Yellow, purple, pink, watch the light cascade
Shining brightly down upon Mother Earth
Turning everything to a lighter shade
Illuminating the sky before birth
The radiance is displaying fresh ground
New days with open doors seem to invite
Hidden crevices ready to be found
Adventures ready to spring at first light
Rising in east with a passionate burn
The glass is half full and not half empty
Like a sunrise good things always return
With rising sun there’s opportunity
Chance for excitement often arises
Step forward to find pleasing surprises
The sun rising every morning is something we can always count on. I compared that to the opportunities we receive throughout life. Opportunities are always coming, but we just have to take time to notice them. We can count on having a fresh start each day like the sun does each morning. Even though it sets in the afternoon it still comes back the next day.
The first line is intended to put a light show on for the reader. “Yellow, purple, pink, watch the light cascade.” These are a few of the array of colors that cover the sky at dawn. The light cascades upon everything when it first rises. This line is supposed describe the general picture of the sun right before it rises and shows itself at the horizon or from behind a mountain.
“Shining brightly down upon Mother Earth.” This line just describes the sun and how it reveals everything on earth when it comes up. The sun reveals things like how opportunities are revealed. We are so used to seeing the sun up every day, we don’t notice its beauty anymore. Just like how we don’t notice opportunities every time they arise.
The next line says, “Turning everything to a lighter shade.” The sun is making everything brighter and more visible. It lights up everything so we can go on with our lives the same way opportunities come up.
“Illuminating the sky before birth.” The sky lights up before the sun actually shows. We can see colors in the sky before we see the actual sun itself. When we get a chance to do something, we usually see hints of it before we actually get the chance. The first four lines were supposed to put a picture of a sunrise in the reader’s mind.
When the sun comes up we aren’t in darkness anymore and can see everything. “The radiance is displaying fresh ground.” The light shows new things and helps make discoveries. Things can be found if you just look.
“New days with open doors seem to invite.” This line is saying that with new days come new choices you can make. You can choose to take the right or good thing, or you can choose the bad or wrong choice. But no matter which way you go, it’s your choice. You could just stay in the same place or keep moving forward.
When the sun rises it reveals things that were covered in darkness during the night. “Hidden crevices ready to be found.” Little things are ready to be discovered while the sun is out.
“Adventures ready to spring at first light.” When the sun finally comes up adventures are ready to be made. The world can anticipate when the sun is going to come up and when we can jump into an activity. We could start earlier, but it would be dark and harder to accomplish, or can wait for the right time to do something. Those four lines were about how the sun reveals things when it is up and hide things when it is down. Like how opportunities are shown at certain times.
“Rising in east with a passionate burn,” describes the sun as it rises ready for a new day. It rises, ready for new things.
“The glass is half full and not half empty.” Seeing opportunities is usually the result of being optimistic and looking for the right signs. This line shows optimism.
“Like a sunrise good things always return.” This line sort of describes itself. At this point the poem shifts from sunrises to opportunities. These chances for something good keep coming back, just like how the sun rises everyday.
With everyday come new ideas and opportunities. “With rising sun there’s opportunity.” These four lines were where the poem changes from talking about sunrises to opportunities.
The last two lines say that we should take chances and risks because that’s the only way you’re going to get anywhere. “Chance for excitement often arises. Step forward to find pleasing surprises.” As the Latin saying goes, “Carpe diem.” Seize the day.
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6 comments:
Hi Malina! Nice analysis. Is it possible to use words other than “this line” to make your paper flow better. There were some spots where I was confused, but other then that I liked it (especially your ending lines). ☺
PS check your email
oops...sorry
the happy face looks a little sad.
how did bethany make that smiley face...?
i like it, malini! especially the last line cuz it has that perfect dramaticness to it. it flows good, and i the love the theme!
haha see i left you a comment now...i told you...
here's your edited paper: (it might be a little different from the one i sent you)
The sun rising every morning is something (is it possible to use another word) we can always count on. I compared that to the opportunities we receive throughout life. Opportunities are always coming, but we just have to take time to notice them. We can count on having a fresh start each day like the sun does each morning. Even though it sets in the afternoon (evening?) it still comes back (never fails to rise the next day?) the next day.
(The first line) is intended to put a light show on for the reader. “Yellow, purple, pink, watch the light cascade.” These are a few of the array of colors that cover the sky at dawn. The light cascades upon everything when it first rises. (This line) is supposed describe the general picture of the sun right before it rises and shows itself at the horizon or from behind a mountain.
“Shining brightly down upon Mother Earth.” (This line) just describes the sun and how it reveals everything on earth when it comes up. The sun reveals things like how opportunities are revealed. We are so used to seeing the sun up every day, we don’t notice its beauty anymore. Just like how we don’t notice opportunities every time they arise.
(The next line) says, “Turning everything to a lighter shade.” The sun is making everything brighter and more visible. It lights up everything so we can go on with our lives the same way opportunities come up.
“Illuminating the sky before birth.” The sky lights up before the sun actually shows. We can see colors in the sky before we see the actual sun itself. When we get a chance to do something, we usually see hints of it before we actually get the chance. The (first four lines) were supposed to put a picture of a sunrise in the reader’s mind.
When the sun comes up we aren’t in darkness anymore and can see everything. “The radiance is displaying fresh ground.” The light shows new things and helps make discoveries. Things can be found if you just look.
“New days with open doors seem to invite.” (This line is saying that with) (delete) new days come new choices you can make. You can choose to take the right or good thing, or you can choose the bad or wrong choice. But no matter which way you go, it’s your choice. You could just stay in the same place or keep moving forward.
When the sun rises it reveals things that were covered in darkness during the night. “Hidden crevices ready to be found.” Little things are ready to be discovered while the sun is out.
“Adventures ready to spring at first light.” When the sun finally comes up adventures are ready to be made. The world can anticipate when the sun is going to come up and when we can jump into an activity. We could start earlier, but it would be dark and harder to accomplish, or can wait for the right time to do something. (Those four lines were about how)(delete) the sun reveals things when it is up and hide things when it is down. Like how opportunities are shown at certain times.
“Rising in east with a passionate burn,” describes the sun as it rises ready for a new day. It rises, ready for new things.
“The glass is half full and not half empty.” Seeing opportunities is usually the result of being optimistic and looking for the right signs (how can we identify these). This line shows optimism.
“Like a sunrise good things always return.” (This line sort of describes itself.) (delete) At this point, the poem shifts from sunrises to opportunities. These chances for something good keep coming back, just like how the sun rises everyday.
With everyday come new ideas and opportunities. “With rising sun there’s opportunity.” These four lines were where the poem changes from talking about sunrises to opportunities.
(The last two lines say that) (delete) we should take chances and risks because that’s the only way you’re going to get anywhere. “Chance for excitement often arises. Step forward to find pleasing surprises.” As the Latin saying goes, “Carpe diem.” Seize the day.
it's me again
here your grade
message/support: 20
clarity: 19
technique (word choice, grammer): 19
fluency/organization: 19
voice (style): 20
thanks a lot for that comment.
i like how your entire poem is just one big, fat, metaphor. awesome. this sentence: "These are a few of the array of colors that cover the sky at dawn." doesn't make sense. (first, second paragraph, i can't tell on blogger.) I think you need to take out "array of" or write "this is an example of the array...covers..."
hehe, my atrocious punctuation. whoa, long word.
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